Writing a Business Description That Gets Inquiries

Your description is your pitch. After a customer scrolls through your photos and decides you might be worth contacting, the description is where they decide for sure. Most vendor descriptions on any marketplace fall into the same trap: they're either too short to be useful or too generic to stand out.

Here's how to write one that actually works.

The Basics

You have up to 2,000 characters. You don't have to use all of them, but anything under 300 characters looks like you didn't try. Aim for at least 500. The sweet spot is 800 to 1,500 characters, which is enough to say something meaningful without turning into an essay nobody finishes.

What to Include

What you do, specifically. Not "I provide catering services." Instead: "I cook traditional Nigerian food for weddings and celebrations, specializing in jollof rice, small chops, and full buffet spreads for 100 to 500 guests." The more specific you are, the more a customer reading it thinks "this person does exactly what I need."

Which cultures and events you serve. This is EventAtlas, not a generic vendor directory. Your cultural expertise is your selling point. Name the traditions, the events, the specific cultural contexts you work in. "I specialize in Yoruba traditional wedding ceremonies and have catered over 40 Nigerian weddings in the DMV area" tells a customer everything they need to know.

Your experience and background. How long have you been doing this? How many events have you worked? Any notable events or clients (with their permission)? This doesn't need to be a resume. A sentence or two that establishes credibility is enough.

What makes you different. Why should a customer choose you over the next vendor in the search results? Maybe it's your style, your approach, your cultural knowledge, your flexibility, your pricing structure. Whatever it is, name it.

Your service area. "Based in Houston, serving events across Texas and available for destination events nationwide" is more useful than relying on the location field alone.

What to Skip

Generic mission statements. "We are committed to providing excellent service and customer satisfaction" says nothing. Every vendor could write that sentence. Remove it and replace it with something specific to you.

A list of every service you've ever offered. Your categories and packages handle this. The description should tell a story, not read like an inventory.

All caps, excessive exclamation marks, or emoji. It reads as unprofessional. Let your work speak for itself.

Outdated information. If your description mentions a promotion from last year or references a location you've since left, update it. Stale copy signals an inactive vendor.

Structure That Works

Start with a one or two sentence summary of what you do and who you serve. Follow with a short paragraph about your experience and cultural expertise. End with your service area or a note about what makes your approach different.

Keep paragraphs short. Customers are scanning, not reading a novel. Three to four sentences per paragraph is ideal. If your description looks like a wall of text, break it up.

A Real Test

After writing your description, read it out loud. Does it sound like you talking to a potential client? Or does it sound like a corporate brochure? If it's the latter, rewrite it. The vendors who get the most inquiries write descriptions that sound like a real person who's genuinely good at what they do.